Fair's Fair
by Trinity Everett
Summary: Beckett tells Josh about the kiss she shared with Castle. Written for #CastleFanficMonday


Anonymous asked: Do you take prompts? I have a prompt I'd like to see tackled: "So I'm thinking a fanfic based on Josh's reaction to the Undercover Kiss in 3x13. Either he finds out on his own or KB tells him. Author can decide though."

 _Happy CastleFanficMonday! This was an interesting challenge, and I hope you like it, Anon!_

 **Fair's Fair**

* * *

There's something different about her, something lighter than he's ever seen from the woman he's been dating since the end of the summer. A part of him wants to believe it's excitement to see him, but he has an inkling that it's not because of his return to the city.

"Hey," Kate greets, waving for him to stay put as he attempts to get to his feet. "I'm just getting a drink; I'll be back."

He nods, sinking back to the cushion and curling his fingers around his own bottle. She smiles in return, a quick, easy thing before turning on her heel and making her way to the bar.

Yeah, there's definitely something different. A good case makes her happy, but work never elicits a smile like that. Few things do.

His girlfriend returns a few minutes later, dropping into the seat across from him. He rocks forward, leaning his elbows on the table to reach for her hand. She gives it without hesitation this time, squeezing his knuckles.

"How was your flight?" It's the same question she asks every time he gets back from a trip – though _every time_ may be an exaggeration, he hasn't been on that many trips since they started dating. They usually wait to meet up until he's recovered a bit from the jet lag and she's not working a case, but inevitably, it's always the same question.

"Long," he answers, releasing her fingers when it seems like it's time. "But the extra layover helped this time."

She sips her beer, giving him a thoughtful nod. "Yeah, I bet. The chance to stretch your legs somewhere other than the center aisle of the plane makes a big difference."

"Yeah," he agrees, watching the line of her throat as she sips her Amber Bock. Up close he can see an even bigger difference in her. "You look good, Kate."

Even under the neon bar lights, he can see a flush rise in her cheeks.

"Thanks. It's been… an interesting few weeks."

"Big cases?" he asks, shifting back in the booth. She never tells him much, not wanting to talk shop when they don't get much time together as it is, but he can ask. He should ask.

"Something like that," she agrees, tugging on her lip, eyes darting to the paper on her bottle. A second later, she inhales, looking back at him. "Do you ever have something happen so fast, you don't even process it at first?"

"I work in emergency surgery," he reminds her with a wry smile. "You just described every day."

"Right. It just all happens so fast."

He nods, unsure of where she's going with this. "It does."

"Yeah, this did, too. Ryan and Esposito needed help. They were being – there was a situation and Castle and I had to get them out."

The writer's name isn't an uncommon thing to come from her lips. Neither is the affectionate, thoughtful smile (though he's not sure she even knows it happens when she talks about the other man), but tonight there's even more to it. A hesitance, a hope, maybe?

"Josh, this isn't going to work out."

Well, the non-sequitur certainly gets his mind off Richard Castle.

"What?"

His girlfriend worries her lip between her teeth. She looks like that hadn't been what she'd intended to say, but she also doesn't fall over herself to take it back, either.

"Everything happened fast as we were getting Ryan and Espo out of trouble, but it made me realize… this – us – just isn't going to work out."

"Was someone hurt?" he asks, trying to cut through the chaos of her thoughts and get her to tell him what actually happened.

Her head shakes, hair fluttering around her shoulders. She pushes a strand behind her ear and sucks in a deep breath.

"No. No, thankfully. But what did happen was enough to get me thinking."

What the hell happened?

She looks down at her hands, at the way her thumb has practically peeled the label from the beer bottle without either of them noticing. "I'm sorry, Josh. You're a great guy, and I've had fun –"

"But what happened with the boys changed your mind about us?"

Kate opens her mouth only to close it again, trapping the words inside.

"Kate, come on. Talk to me. You went through something and it was apparently so life changing, it led you to make this decision. At least clue me in on what it was."

"I kissed Castle." She lifts her chin, fixing him with a look he has to work to decipher. She's contrite, obviously, but he sees true resolve in her eyes.

"I see." It's all he can really manage. That isn't at all what he'd expected to hear, but it makes more sense than he cares to admit.

She's been in love with the guy as long as he's known her.

She deflates a moment later, all bravado leaving her shoulders. "It's not – it was supposed to be a distraction, bait if you really want to think of it like that."

"Okay…" He waits. If it had just been a distraction, if it was _nothing_ , he has no doubt she wouldn't be telling him. He has no doubt it would be just another quirky thing she's done for her job and for the people she works with, not worth mentioning at all.

"But it made me think; put things in better perspective, and I didn't think it was right to let it hang between us. I'm sorry. I know that's probably not worth much, but I am."

"So you're …"

"Yeah," she interrupts, licking her lips. "I'm sorry, again. I didn't mean to spring this on you as soon as I sat down, or for this to be the way… Can I at least buy you dinner?"

He laughs, but it lacks most of what true laughter entails. It's just air escaping his lungs.

"You want to buy me a breakup dinner?"

She has the grace to look sheepish. "I just want to be fair. More fair than I have been."

Sweeping his eyes over her buys him time to think. She's been great, and he has had fun, but he's never had her. Not really.

"Then call him. Not me."

Her eyes cut to his. "What?"

"I think that's how you can be fair here, don't you? By being honest with the person you want to be with?"

"I – Josh, it's not –"

He stands then, leaving her searching for words.

"I hope it works out for you, Kate. I truly do."

And with that, Josh Davidson squeezes his now-ex's shoulder and leaves the bar.


End file.
